Cadbury Snack :: Ultimate Funster Blog!

Welcome the Ultimate Funster Blog!

July 30th, 2009

Ever sit in a meeting or go through a report and haven’t a notion what it is all about due to the jargon and waffle? We blame those marketing types, accountants aren’t creative enough!

Well thanks to this useful little link you will be able to throw in a few phrases of your own and sit back while everyone else either pretends to understand or looks like you have finally lost it. So remember to envisioneer interactive web-readiness in order to evolve scalable initiatives!

http://dack.com/web/bullshit.html

Tags: office jargon, Snack in the mouth
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Welcome the Ultimate Funster Blog!

July 27th, 2009

Remember those ‘motivation’ posters that used to hang in waiting rooms and the offices of David Brent style managers. You know the ones - ‘Believe in yourself and you can achieve anything’ with a picture of an eagle or a sunset.

Don’t know about you but the thought of five o’clock on a Friday was plenty of motivation for us.

Anyway we have posted a few of these posters with a twist in the Gallery section of the site to help you reach you inner goals and all that malarkey.

Tags: Motivation Posters, Office Humour, Snack in the mouth
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Welcome the Ultimate Funster Blog!

July 22nd, 2009

After last week’s set of office rules we have once again outdone ourselves by providing you with a set of office dares to help lighten the mood in the office.

You can always make a game of it. Whoever gets the most points wins a prize (although one can probably kiss good bye that promotion as a result!)

One-Point Dares
1. Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.
2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way”.
4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5. While going in an elevator, gasp dramatically each time the doors open.
6. When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
7. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy…”
8. Don’t use any punctuation.
9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.
Three-Point Dares
1. Say to your boss, “I like your style”, wink, and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4. Every time you get an email, shout ”email”.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, “dagnamit, it’s happened again!”. Then do it again.
7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as “the office bicycle”. Then wink and pout.
8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can’t seem to access any pornography web sites.
Five-Point Dares
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Dave”.
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a number two”.
5. When you’ve picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake conversation with the words, ‘’she can abort it for all I care”.
6. After every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: “The report’s on your desk, Mon.” Keep this up for one hour.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!”
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, “As God is my witness,I’ll never go hungry again!”
9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.
11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
14. Sign or p.p. all letters with your initials and a swastika.
15. Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, “I’ll see you tonight”.